the greatest battles are those in the mind.

if i asked you now to give yourself a grade, or a score, perhaps from 0 to 100, about your life, how many marks would you give yourself?
it's not about satisfaction, but performance.
how many marks is your current life worth?

i started pondering about these questions some time ago.
everything is judged and given a score these days, performance, aptitude, motivation, and even love.
as much as we want to be non-judgemental, and as much as we want to be kind hearted and not look at somebody in terms of what he or she is worth, we DO judge.
not as in passing a death sentence to someone who deserves it or not, but more like a labelling process.
"Smartasses, dumbnits, skillful shit, blur sotong, irritating fly..."
if you are the employer of a big company, would you look at certificates and As?
if you are the director of a modelling company, do you go for good looks?
damn am I asking stupid questions, but my point is, every freaking thing is this world is judged, and given marks so conveniently that our lives can actually be broken down into binaries or zeros to nines.
imagine numbers floating all around planet Earth.
gruesome.

we are either trying to please ourselves or others in life.
and we are constantly rated for our actions and inactions.
what then, is the RIGHT action.
when there are so many people judging you.
with all the different platforms or benchmarks for scoring, and the huge gap in different people's basis, when is your action ever the 100 marks action?
when is your thoughts or beliefs 100% correct?
is it right when you are following your own moral values when it comes to decisions?
okay we pretend that it is right, but what if you are wrong in the first place?
and how wrong are you?
who is going to tell you?
when you are a baby, your mama or papa will smack the hell out of you when you do something WRONG,
and when you are in schools, that job is left to the teachers and principals,
and your boss will take over when you start working, and if you happen to be the boss, maybe.. your mama does the shit again?
say you are a teacher, how right are you in teaching a kid from right and wrong when you yourself may not be totally right?

everything is this world, is relative rather than absolute.
alot of people think that there is no hope for their children when they fail their exams,
which I think is pathetic.
and money seems to be the favourite word out there, and some might be begging on their knees to differ, that they are just struggling to make ends meet and not really that WANTING for cash.
i will kneel down and beg you back, stop your freaking lies.
money is power, and nobody pushes power away just like no hungry man pushes food away.
we are all hungry, and how to we change it?
impossible.
you can choose to eat less, go vegetarian, or go all out, but the bottomline is, you have to eat.
just like you have to have power, be it to rule others or just to have a control in life. You definitely need control, over certain aspects in your life, some more, some less.

i have slacked my day away.
twice this week.
feeling terrible.
prelims is so near already.
yet, im slacking away.
2days in a week!
ohmyguanyinma.
this is crazy.
i know.
i swear not to slack anymore after today.
work hard!!!
L1R5 <12!
i can i will and i MUST.

miss jenny ng is back!
yes victoria.
i totally agree.
when david lim told us miss jenny ng will be teaching us, taking over him on monday,
i nearly died from grinning.
(:
for once, i felt happy during his lesson.
but still, i did not listen to his lessons that day. hur.
miss jenny ng want feeling well.
still adapting to the change in weather.
guess she had gained some weight.
her face seems rounder and slightly bigger,
arms are flabbier.
but still,
she is a GOOD teacher.
a very good one.
i like the way she help us revise our maths.

mrs low gave us english compre test.
miss tang didnt know we were having a test,
because,
we don look like we are taking one.
mrs low literally gave us some answers when we asked her.
and cecilia skipped all the question on passage B.
hurr. (:
this is terrible

school flood again.
went up to see, with chailuan, in the MIDDLE OF our english TEST.
yes, mrslow allowed us to go up and see.
-_-
somehow, i thought it was only the floor getting wet, i don see any floods!
but some class still shifted classrooms because theirs "flood"
i still remember vividly the flood 3 years ago.
that was a pretty serious one.
the water level was pretty high.
hur.
FUN!
mdm rani cancelled today's map reading test.
had a celebration today.
with the sec 4 dancers.
celebrating the stepping down (:
the chocolate mashmellow cake was nice!
shall upload the photos next time when im free, together with yannong's birthday celebration photos (:
got to go.
prelims in 59days.
byebye.